🔗 Share this article

Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the comfort zone for daily publications, and publications remain attentive to significant toilet tales and key events, notably connected to soccer. It was quite amusing to find out that Big Website columnist a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom rather too directly, and had to be saved from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained an official from the local fire department. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli popped into a local college to use the facilities back in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled through the school like he owned the place.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned from the England national team after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The toilet cubicles. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way over the past twenty-five years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Live Updates

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We remained in an extended queue, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|